Last year we became part of a club, but not by our own choice. Loosing a child is what we have in common with other members. News of Amanda’s death traveled far and wide and we received numerous cards from other parents who lost a child. Recently an older man was in our home doing a property appraisal. Seeing the pictures of Amanda on the wall, he asked, “Did you loose a daughter?” A look of sadness came over his face and he said, “I lost a daughter 20 years ago. She was 24 years old.” A few weeks later he kindly sent me this note. I have been thinking of your daughter and I have an inkling of what your pain is. I am so sorry. Time does not heal all wounds but I believe that our memories are what keep us going and having other children is a blessing. Your kids are so nice. You are fortunate to have them.
We’re healing and we’re experiencing the joys of life but sorrow is still our constant companion. I wonder if life will ever be the same again. Even after the baby is born, we still won’t know how to answer the question of how many children we have.